His little whispers.
Love Me. Love Me.
That's all I ask for. Love Me. Love Me.
He battered his tiny fists to feel something.Wondered what it's like to touch and feel something.
Monster
How should I feel?Creatures lie here.Looking through the window
That night he caged her.Bruised and broke her
He struggled closer.Then he stole her
Violet wrists and then her ankles
Silent Pain
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams
Monster.
How should I feel?Creatures lie here
I will
Looking through the windows
Hear their voices. I'm a glass child
I am Hannah's regret
Monster
How should I feel?Turn the sheets down
Murder ears with pillow lace
There's bath tubs
Full of glow flies
Bathe in kerosene
Their words tattooed in his veins, yeah
So, yeah, part two: my ponderings. I would like to turn your attentions to heaven. I'm reading a book called The Fetch by a Laura Whitcomb, and it deals with an angel of sorts. I would explain it, but it's too much for now, so for all intensive purposes I will call him an angel. So, I was thinking: what to pastors/ priests/ rabbis/ monks (hehehe) all say about heaven, or whichever version of a heaven the religion has? Happiness, right? Everybody is full and happy and with no worries at all. All love and giggles and feasting with friends and family. Forever, eternally, happily ever after, ext. Does this sound a little odd to you too? How can anyone in heaven- what do you call them... not the dead... uh, I'll just go with angels again- SO, these angels- how can they not worry about those back on earth? My mom would answer that as 'Because they know that in the end they too will go to heaven and be with them.' Yeah- but that person down on earth doesn't know that, do they? Wouldn't they worry that their loved ones are in pain because of their death, even if it's only "temporary." Another opposing point to mine would be 'they watch over them' or the guardian angel thing. Again I ask- would that stress them out in the least seeing the grief? Just a little? Yes, why yes it would. Next point: are you still the same person if there is no suffering? Define happiness without using suffering to describe what it is. It's like- you can't have light without a shadow somewhere. And wouldn't eternal bliss be... I don't know, monotonous after a while of it? How many turkey dinners can you eat without getting tired of turkey? Since I'm being quite pessimistic at the moment, I'll say this to lighten the mood: I do like the idea of heaven. Shocker? But I do- just not the puffy white cloud thing that's normally going on. If I told you my personal want for heaven to be, you'd laugh at me so loud it would travel straight through cyberland and come out of my laptop and scare the crap out of me in the middle of the night or something. So I shall keep my ideas to myself for once there.
Part three: best buddies. It's an international 'buddy' program for mentally disabled children (and adults). You are matched with a child and form a one-on-one relationship with your buddy, keeping in touch at least once a week via e-mail, phone calls, or meetings. Once a month you and you buddy go out to the movies, or bowling, or just hang out around your or their house. You go to the mandatory meetings, and sometimes to parties or dances with other Best Buddie programs in your area. I want to do it, and I picked up the participation and personality matching sheets today after school. The answer to the 'Why do you want to join Best Buddies?' is that I think everyone deserves a friend, and if I have the opportunity to be that friend- the one that makes a difference or that just makes things a little bit better sometimes- then I would be honored. And I believe in that, truly. So I hope that I interview well after break and that I can have a buddy. It'll be fun, and make me feel like maybe I am making a difference by being a good friend- a perfectly good feeling to have.
Peace out for now.
